I have so much to do. Our apartment is a royal mess. We need more laundry detergent so I can do laundry to help with said royal mess, I need to get more itchy allergy kid ingredients, and I have some things I want to do for St. Nicholas’ feast day. But I just feel like I’m absolutely dragging. I think it’s a combination of leftover from my cold, being preggers, and trying to keep up with a 14 month old (tomorrow!) baby. When I woke up this morning, one of the first things I said to John was “Will I ever wake up feeling rested again?” I don’t think I have since middle school. And I know that many of you are sitting out there saying “Oh, just you wait, the best is yet to come.” Thanks for that support. I’ve really appreciated hearing unsupportive support from others. Especially strangers. My favorite the other day? A stranger saying “Oh, your baby is going to have a really hard time adjusting to the new baby.” REALLY!? We hadn’t thought about that at ALL! Thanks for the news flash!! *sarcasm*
I’d love to do a time swap with someone, but I’m too much of a germaphobe (working on that) and too worried that someone (or, more likely, their kid) will give Margaret an allergy trigger food to leave her with someone so I can get something done or get a little rest or do what I need the very most: make a holy hour. (Hey run-on sentence, what’s up!?)
My husband is such an amazing help without me ever even asking. I read an article yesterday, though, that reminded me that just because he’s home for the day doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need a little time to relax and process the day he has had. He’s exhausted, too. I can’t paraphrase right now, but if my memory serves me well she speaks on this in the first paragraph or two. You can read the article here. The only thing I disagree with in it is the reference to feeling tempted to use artificial BC and that the Church tells us to have big families. Mother Church doesn’t teach that. She teaches, rather, the importance of being open to life and prayerfully discerning each cycle whether or not God is calling you and your spouse to be co-creator with Him. There’s a difference. You couldn’t ever pay me to contracept. No way, no how! God has perfectly designed our bodies and fertility. Even if it’s difficult to track one’s cycle, it’s possible. And abstinence is always effective. We have the capacity for self-control, whether we know it and practice it or not. There are plenty of other ways to demonstrate intimacy other than through sexual relations. Okay, end rant of the one issue I take with that article!
Hm, this post ended up being a little more whiney than I meant for it to, so I’m going to stop. I won’t edit it, though, and will post it. Why? Because it’s real life and we spend so much time trying to be impressive and put on masks. I’m sure there are many Mamas of youngins out there who can relate to some of the ideas in here, and sometimes it’s nice to see that you’re not alone. I’m not impressive. My life might be a little messy, upside down, and curled at the edges. But it’s a beautiful mess and a work in progress and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I will give it to the Lord.